Maria Sharapova and one almighty pickle

Weirdness seeing an unbranded Maria Sharapova for her big reveal, non?

A logo-less sober black outfit, the brandless bland beige backdrop all carefully stage-managed for her big reveal, the five-time Grand Slam winner bravely admitted she’d failed a drug test at the Australian Open.

Hands up, said one of the biggest earning sportswomen in the world, those pesky email attachments that alert you to banned substances just get lost in the mire, don’t they? Besides, the substance, prescribed by my lickle old family doctor was only banned at the beginning of the year and I knew it under another name – what a pickle.

Sugarpova

Why it’s almost as if those sweets were placed there on purpose…

Oh Maria, if only you had some sort of entourage, perhaps a physio or nutritionist, nay, even a manager who could advise you of such matters.

You certainly seem contrite, and in no way think this is a good time to make jokes about carpets, which is good.

So be off with you while we shake our heads at your silliness and decide what minimal punishment to give you.

After all, us sports fans can see this is an isolated drugs-in-sport incident and have utter confidence that on the rare occasion a sportsperson is caught taking banned substances it is likely to be just a misunderstanding,  just like yours.

I recommend the following articles for slightly less sarcastic coverage…
Craig Pickering: ‘Sharapova’
BBC Sport’s excellent Tom Fordyce: ‘Maria Sharapova’s drugs test announcement polarises opinions

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